Cancer Chronicles chapter 1: Why am I doing this?

Why am I doing this?

I have to confess this blog wasn’t initially my idea.  It was suggested by several friends, but chiefly inspired by my good friend Kris Kristensen who is fighting a life-changing battle with cancer.  After emergency surgery to remove his left leg and pelvis, and more surgeries due to infections like C-diff, he found his life changed dramatically overnight.  He started a blog to keep family and friends updated on his progress and found that writing was cathartic.  When he and I spoke about my recent experiences he encouraged me to write and to share what I wrote with others.    

Despite his encouragement the thought of writing about my experiences was intimidating. Could I put thoughts about my experiences in writing in a way that would express them adequately? Even if I could, why would anyone else find them worth reading?  What could I say that might be helpful or a blessing for someone else?  There are so many people dealing with hard things, but they are all so different.  Could my experiences be relevant or translate to the other hard things people are dealing with?  I finally concluded to just write as honestly as I can, with hopes that if my thoughts might be helpful for someone else it would be worth the effort. Also, writing forces me to be honest about what I'm doing. It's easy to think I'm working hard on something, but it's harder to maintain self-deception when I know I am committed to writing about my experiences. 

If you read these reflections you'll note that my worldview includes religious faith.  I stumble my way through living in accordance with that faith, but I believe in Jesus Christ and am a practicing member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Most of the experiences that have led to that faith are too personal to share here, but I'll allude to some things that have made a difference.  

So here goes.  I hope these posts will spur dialogue. Please talk back, share your thoughts and experiences.  One of the lessons I’ve learned through dealing with cancer is that none of us has to face trial and difficulty alone.  We might feel alone sometimes, and in truth there will be things we have to face in the quiet times when no one else is around, but there are always people we can lean on.  So many have been supportive of me in my journey. I hope to pay some of that back here.